The Verdict is In

I saw the movie Twilight before I read the book. I thought the acting was horrid. The characters were so flat and one-dimensional. I couldn't relate or anything to the movie. So, I decided that the book HAD to be better than the movie (not that it was much of a challenge). I wanted to see what all the hype was about and really give it a chance to be worth my time. Plus, I wanted to get back into reading. When our emergency trip to Pittsburgh came up, I figured I could finish reading Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez ( I had been reading it off and on for a few months) and start/finish Twilight. It was a looong flight, so I had time and then some. I went ahead and read the book and I wasn't able to really give you all a proper review because I had so much to catch up on at work. Sorry! In a nutshell, PASS. As for New Moon...

Within the first 20 pages I was already over Bella. How can someone be sooooo miserable. All. The. Time. All she does is whine and complain and find more ways to be more miserable. Even when she's "happy". It gets worse when Edward leaves her and she is depressed for MONTHS. Each page that she narrates feels like a month's worth of reading. It was excruciating!

Enters Jacob. Jacob's character may have saved the book in my honest opinion. He's such an unpretentious and real character, up until the whole werewolf bit. It's just very easy to like him. The whole Bella-Jacob love thing was also much more believable than the Bella-Edward story. The author actually took the time to develop their attraction and you almost fall in love with them as their relationship develops. It wasn't carnal like Bella and Edward whereby Edward was attracted to Bella like a fat kid to chocolate cake and Bella was attracted to Edward like the fly that is attracted to the pretty blue light of a bug zapper. When Bella is with Jacob, she is ALMOST likable. It's as if she's a different person. She laughs, she jokes, she's NORMAL.

Unfortunately, Edward makes a re-appearance after a very coincidental series of events. This causes a rift in her relationship with Jacob. Bella is sad, again. Then the book ends. Yes, it ends just like that.

I blame a lot of the faults in the series on the author, Stephenie Meyer. It's as if she was a desperate housewife and in between breastfeeding her kid, decided that she would write a book about a girl who falls in love with a vampire and lives vicariously through her characters. Clearly, she never bothered to research the subject of vampires because apparently, vampires have all sorts of special powers except shoot fireworks out of their asses. She went against such widelly accepted vampire traits that it was just a slap in the face! Just when things were starting to get "good" she would underdevelop the scene and leave you high and dry. What would have been a good sequence of events would be done in two pages. I don't know if she had the intention to target teenagers with her book, but you can definitely tell that it is written at their level. If you wanted to improve your reading speed...highly recommended. In the time it takes you to pinch a loaf, you'll have read 25 pages. MINIMUM! Vocabulary, not so much. There were a few instances where you know that she busted out her Thesaurus and found some "big" words to replace her overly simplistic prose with; words like hyperbole and chastise as opposed to exaggerate and punish.

All in all, I don't see the allure the series has on adults. I can see where teenagers that still have the romanticized and idyllic notions of love would love to place themselves in Bella's shoes. But I just don't know how adults do it. It's a teenage Harlequin series!!! Not even a sex scene to hold you over! Don't get me wrong, I'm still a romantic and love all that finding true love garbage. Even among humans, aliens, vampires and seals, but this was pretty close to unbearable.



Highlights: Jacob Black, New Moon movie (the trailer looked pretty good--it seems they were able to do what Stephenie Meyer couldn't do)
Not so much: Bella, Edward, Stephenie Meyer's writing abilities

Feel free to hurl the tomatoes now!

Dear Mr. West

On behalf of the entire world, I would like to ask you to please STFU!

Love always,

Amy

So, I've been thinking...

...I want customized Ashley Brooke stationary! Wouldn't notecards with TomTom, Jake, Sophia and I be the cutest touch ever? Head on over to her site for some serious cuteness overload. My fave designs:

and this one

and this one

Credit

See?!?!?!?!

Breathe

Disclaimer: The following post may have a little TMI. Consider yourself warned.

So, the last two weeks have been psychological torture for me. I was two weeks late. Not late for work, not late for lunch... LATE LATE! I had changed BC methods last month and I knew that could have something to do with it, but I hadn't been good at taking my pill. I would take it every other day, if that. I knew it was a definite possibility. So for two weeks, whenever I would sit down to pee, I would immediately look for Aunt Flow. Over and over again, it was torturous.

So finally, I told TomTom that I would wait until Tuesday before I took a test (you know, to not ruin the weekend). Yesterday, with my heart in my throat, I went over to the base clinic to DEMAND a blood test. I couldn't bear the thought of a false positive with a home pregnancy test or a urine test, I needed a blood test. The triage nurse was very nice and set me up right away. She said the results would take two hours or so, but that she would call me first thing in the morning as it was already the afternoon. The questions circling my mind for the last few weeks were now playing on repeat as I walked to the lab. Would i be able to devote myself completely to another human being? Would I be able to go to law school? What would a baby do to our relationship? How would b=my body change? Would I be able to handle the labor and delivery? The questions were endless! So I had blood drawn and went back to work; immersing myself in work--anything to get my mind off the results. At 4:45 the same day, the triage nurse called me with the results.




NEGATIVE!!! *sigh* I have never felt such relief in my life.

I understand children are bundles of love and little miracles and that there are people all over the world hoping to one day be parents yada yada yada. I'm just not ready to make such a large sacrifice at this point in my life. Children aren't a new handbag that you wear until you grow tired of it and then buy a new one, they're F.O.R.E.V.E.R. I like to curse, I like to sleep, I like to spend money on me and TomTom, I like to travel and dote on Jake and Pia. For all these reasons, waiting for Baby Mulhall is a good thing!

For now, I hope to work on changing my selfish tendencies in hopes that I will one day be ready for two ankle biters, 2 years apart!

Oink?

I just wanted to share that I have come to the conclusion that I must have some recessive pig gene in me. Let it be known that I went to the commissary today. It's not our local commissary, but it's a much bigger one at a semi-nearby base. My intent was to just buy items that we don't carry at our local store, but noooo this little piggy was hungry or possessed! I went up and down the aisles. I started at the produce area looking for some fruit and then I came across the cake and frosting area. I immediately gravitated to the Betty Crocker Whipped Cream Cheese frosting. All I could see myself doing was watching Gossip Girl and spooning whipped cream cheese frosting a la Kevin James in I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry... I've been known to do this before. Put the little tub in my cart. I then went to the bread and baked goods aisle, I grabbed some light wheat bread and some sweet Hawaiian bread to eat on the ride home *drop*, followed by some Entemann's Louisiana Crunch Cake *drop*. I haven't figured out if it was a bit of nostalgia (my mommy and I used to scarf down a large slice with chocolate ice cream when I was little) or if I was just hungry since I had skipped breakfast and lunch. I kept moseying down the aisles and I got to the deli. I needed some turkey, had a 1/4 lb. cut just for me! Okay, I can't lie! I've tried, but I didn't go to the deli for turkey. I went for the delicious cakes and pies they have RIGHT NEXT to the cheeses!!!!!!!!! I NEEDED a slice of carrot cake with CREAM CHEESE frosting! There was no stopping me!!!!!! I made the deli guy cut me a slice of carrot cake AND a slice of chocolate cake with chocolate frosting!!!!!!!!!! In another attempt to lie to myself and TomTom, I told him that I bought him a slice of chocolate cake. I felt really bad and I figured I should cut back somewhere, so with my head down low, I went back to the cake and frosting aisle and returned the frosting to its original place. I have since eaten dinner and licked the plastic container that once held my carrot cake. I now find myself fighting every urge to not go downstairs and eat "his" chocolate cake! Seriously, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!

I think I should note that just 15 minutes earlier, I had picked up triple chocolate M&Ms, 3 Rice Krispies Treats (one which I ate at the store), Sqworms and S'mores Pop Tarts...

Back in Japan

TomTom and I landed in Japan a week ago. I've been super, duper lazy at home this week. In my defense, it was a hectic week at work! As I type this, I am lying in the groove I've created over the last two days of vegging in bed.

We left on Saturday, May 23rd. We were at the airport quite early and we decided to have lunch at the Hard Rock Cafe near the airport. When we came back, we still had like 3 hours before takeoff. We waited patiently, took naps and took a couple pictures...

The flight was awful! There was turbulence throughout the whole 6 hour flight, I had a massive headache, I couldn't sleep...ugh, it was endless! TomTom said I looked as though death had run me over...ain't he sweet? We finally landed at Suvarnabhumi Airport in Bangkok at about 11:30 at night and took the airport's limo to the hotel. It wasn't a bad hotel for $30/night. The decor was modern, new and it was in the financial district. We weren't so sure when we first drove up at 12:30.

At the airport, we had set up a tour through some pseudo government entity. We had breakfast at the hotel, which was included, and went downstairs to meet our guide. As soon as we met, she sent us right back up to our room to change. We weren't dressed "appropriately." I was wearing khaki bermuda shorts and a brown tank top and TomTom was wearing khaki shorts and a black t-shirt...in like 105 degrees with 100% humidity. Worse than Miami...by a lot. So we ended up changing into pants and sleeved-shirts; basically, what we flew in with a few minor changes. F! It's the only thing we had that fit the bill! We went to the Royal Palace, Wat Phra Kaew and SHOPPING! The temple and shrine were gorgeous. Such colors and detail. It really was quite beautiful. After sweating every ounce of water in our bodies, our tour guide took us to some jewelry place that is backed by the Thai government (a very important requirement). Did some damage there followed by a tailor. I was drooling over the different colors of Thai silk and TomTom was talking about custom-made French cuffs and flat front pants. We went to eat that night at the most amazing Italian restaurant followed by a trip in a tuk-tuk to Patpong, the red-light district. There was a night market where everyone kept pawing at us to buy all sorts of junk and plenty of ping pong bars.

The next day we went to Wat Pho. A lot of history there. We walked around, took a couple of pictures saw the giant reclining buddha. We wanted to go to this aquarium that was in this huge mall. We went to the huge mall, but we never made it to the aquarium. We walked around, shopped a bit, saw a Night at the Museum 2 and then went back to the hotel to change prior to TomTom's fitting. Yes, they had already completed part of his order. Everything fit perfectly! He was quite happy. We ate dinner at Hard Rock Cafe and went to see Angels and Demons. Back at the hotel, we repacked and got ready for our trip to Phuket the next day.

We arrived in Phuket at around 10:30 in the morning. Sadly, the rainy season had just started. It was raining when we arrived and it rained until we left. Our hotel was amazing! We were right on the water! We had massages, took a dip in the infinity pool...it was sooo relaxing.

The next day, we had booked a trip to Phi Phi Island. This was the highlight of our trip! We took a speedboat there and spent the day going to different areas on the island including Mahya Bay where The Beach, with Leonardo DiCaprio, was filmed. We went swimming and snorkeling, all under the rain but it was loads of fun and everything was sooo pretty! Definitely going back. The next day we flew off to Samui.

Samui was in one word...disappointing. All the pictures we had seen were clearly taken elsewhere. The whole island reeked. Bad. And the beaches were AWFUL. I felt so cheated! We arrived at the hotel ready to take a dip in the beach; after all, we had flown in our bathing suits! So expecting things to change, we took a ride over to the center of Chaweng expecting to do some shopping. Nothing to really buy except knock-offs. F! Once again, there was more pawing and the sort. TomTom found a dive shop and booked a dive trip for the next day leaving me all by my lonesome...

The next day started pretty early. I decided I'd go out in town and I was determined to shop, as I had seen a REAL Catherine Malandrino dress the day before, and find a nice beach. Didn't end up buying the dress or anything else. I thought I'd get a manicure and/or pedicure, but I had a hard time finding a place that I liked and that looked clean so I ended up just heading back to the hotel to lay out in the sun.

The day we left, we visited the Samui Aquarium and Zoo. It was small and nothing like a zoo back home. We fed turtles and monkeys and took pictures with a tiger! I've come to find that the US has the best zoos and that most of those abroad would probably be considered inhumane, at least this is so in the ones I've been to. We got back to the hotel and had just enough time to eat, grab our bags and head out to the airport to fly back to Bangkok. We arrived in the late afternoon. We waited for the tailor to deliver TomTom's order. Soon after everything was delivered, we went to see yet another movie (yes, TomTom really missed a decent theater) and one last dinner before we left.

We got in the next day in the afternoon and drove the two hours back home. Luckily, the flight back was the complete opposite of the flight there.

Summary: Thailand is a colorful country. Lots of yellows, pinks, purples and blue. The shrines are beautiful, but you'd quickly become "shrined out" after 2 or 3. It can be quite cheap if you eat the food, which TomTom doesn't. You'll hear and read lots about buying clothes there. I didn't really see much other than fake Ed Hardy shirts, but there were plenty of tailors. An Irish woman I met seemed to agree with me as she had brought along few clothes thinking she'd buy a ton there only to have to pay for laundry service every 2-3 days. I was rather disappointed with the Thai people. After visiting many 3rd world countries, I had never seen such a sense of entitlement or desperation. Everyone asked for a tip as well as ask for more! I guess this became all the more insulting after living in Japan for two years and never tipping ANYONE. Taxis were absolute rip offs. Mostly in Samui. Amazingly, for a country that mainly runs on tourism and has a tourism police force with measures to protect tourists from jewelry hoaxes and such, you'd think they'd actually enforce the use of a meter! Just a suggestion... When you see Thailand, it has all the signs of a developed country: everyone has a cell phone, large buildings, livable housing, fairly new cars. Felt particularly unsafe, too. We'll definitely visit again. We might skip Bangkok and Samui, but we certainly want to see some other islands as well.

Highlights: Phi Phi Island, our kick ass hotel in Phuket, dinner at Biscotti

Not so much: Taxis, streets, pollution, beaches in Samui, rain in Phuket

Tick, Tock?

There's been a lot of baby talking near me over the last few weeks. Lots of talk about strollers, crib sets and gadgets...
So, all this baby talking has got me thinking about me becoming a mommy...is this me subconsciously wanting a little one? If and when, what will my reaction be? Will I be happy? Will I panic? What will it feel like? I become very excited when I hear of others expecting, but I don't think I'm quite ready. TomTom and I are happy with things the way they are; we thoroughly enjoy being selfish and only focusing on ourselves. There is also the fact that I'm also petrified of childbirth. I honestly don't think I can handle it (so if anyone is willing to pimp out their uterus, I will pay!). When all is said and done, if I looked back at my life after 50 years or so and saw myself childless, I think I'd feel pretty unfulfilled. I wonder if I'll know or reach a point where I'll yearn to be a mother...